CNN, the world leader in fake news, reports that conservatives are more likely to believe fake news. If this were remotely true, CNN would have have kick-ass ratings like Fox News instead of getting beat out by reruns of The Golden Girls. I think this may be a ploy to boost their pathetic ratings: convince conservatives they believe fake news and then they will flock to the source of all fake news. Unfortunately for them, that ain’t how it works.
Here’s what CNN is trying to fill the Trump void with:
Political conservatives are more likely to believe untrue news reports than liberals are, researchers reported Wednesday.
It’s the latest in a series of studies that show people on the political right tend to not only be targeted by fake news, but to believe it’s correct.
The small but intensive study, conducted by communications specialists Kelly Garrett and Robert Bond at Ohio State University, shows more engaging but false stories tended to support beliefs held by conservatives, while viral news stories that were also true tended to support beliefs held by liberals.
“Small but intensive study” is code for “completely unscientific bullshit” in case you were wondering. I conducted my own study and came to the opposite conclusion. I could find nothing that conservatives believe in that isn’t true, but identified these liberal beliefs that absolute garbage:
Guns
1 – Liberals believe the 2nd Amendment has something to do with hunting.
2 – Liberals believe gun ownership requires government permission.
3 – Liberals believe leaving people defenseless through disarmament makes them safer.
4 – Liberals believe criminals will follow gun control laws.
5 – Liberals believe guns kill people, not the murders who pull the trigger.
6 – Liberals believe plastic accessories make guns more deadly.
Abortion
7 – Liberals believe killing unborn babies saves lives.
8 – Liberals believe that abortion is a constitutional right.
9 – Liberals believe that unborn babies are clumps of cells, not human beings.
10 – Liberals believe that taxpayers should foot the bill for bad decisions.
Global Warming
11 – Liberals believe humans are making the planet hotter.
12 – Liberals believe global warming makes it snow in the winter.
13 – Liberals believe that the world will end in 10 years.
14 – Liberals believe that global warming is responsible for creating weather.
15 – Liberals believe unreliable renewable energy is reliable.
16 – Liberals believe banning plastic straws will save the planet.
Human Biology
17 – Liberals believe there are more genders than just male and female.
18 – Liberals believe that a man putting on a dress transforms him into a woman.
19 – Liberals believe biological males don’t have a physical advantage over females in sports.
20 – Liberals believe it’s okay for biological men to shower with little girls in the locker room.
21 – Liberals believe “xe” is a pronoun.
Immigration
22 – Liberals don’t believe the United States has a right to define its border.
23 – Liberals do believe that every 3rd world scumbag has a right to come here.
24 – Liberals believe illegal aliens are “more American than Americans.”
25 – Liberals believe murderers and rapists are fleeing persecution.
26 – Liberals believe a poem on the Statue of Liberty is U.S. immigration policy.
Race
27 – Liberals believe being white is a hate crime.
28 – Liberals believe white supremacy makes black people attack Asians.
29 – Liberals believe white supremacy is the greatest threat this nation has ever faced.
30 – Liberals believe cops hunt down and kill black men.
31 – Liberals believe armed black men attacking cops are victims.
32 – Liberals believe Republicans are the party of racism.
33 – Liberals believe in systemic racism.
COVID-19
34 – Liberals believe wearing masks saves lives.
35 – Liberals believe shutting down the economy and keeping kids out of school saves lives.
36 – Liberals believe CCP propaganda that COVID-19 came from eating bats.
37 – Liberals believe that grandma-killer Andrew Cuomo did a good job.
38 – Liberals believe Florida Governor Ron DeSantis did a bad job.
39 – Liberals believe Anthony Fauci.
January 6
40 – Liberals believe that a mild protest was a deadly insurrection.
41 – Liberals believe multiple cops were killed at the Capitol.
42 – Liberals believe Antifa and BLM terrorists are right-wing extremists.
43 – Liberals believe a guy in a buffalo hat almost ended democracy.
44 – Liberals believe Trump incited an insurrection by telling people to “go in peace.”
Voting
45 – Liberals believe voting security equals voter suppression.
46 – Liberals believe expanding voting days is voter suppression
47 – Liberals believe black people are incapable of getting a valid ID.
48 – Liberals believe black people can’t figure out how to request an absentee ballot.
49 – Liberals believe black people can’t get to the polls within 2 weeks of Election day.
50 – Liberals believe people should be served food while waiting to vote.
51 – Liberals believe universal mail-in voting is fraud-proof.
52 – Liberals believe Al Gore won in 2000.
53 – Liberals believe Hillary Clinton won in 2016.
Economy
54 – Liberals believe a country can tax its way into prosperity.
55 – Liberals believe regulation and taxes creates jobs.
56 – Liberals believe paying people to not work creates wealth.
57 – Liberals believe flipping burgers is a career.
58 – Liberals believe your money belongs to people who didn’t work for it.
Double-Standard
59 – Liberals believe rape isn’t bad if it’s committed by a democrat.
60 – Liberals believe things are only racist if conservatives say them.
61 – Liberals believe only Republicans are capable of hypocrisy.
62 – Liberals believe freedom of speech only applies to speech they approve of.
63 – Liberals believe only conservatives should be canceled.
Misc.
64 – Liberals believe abortion and child care are infrastructure.
65 – Liberals believe you can’t shout “fire” in a theater.
66 – Liberals believe the uninformed opinions of teenagers are valid.
67 – Liberals believe wearing pink pussy hats destroys the patriarchy.
68 – Liberals believe Bruce Springsteen is still making good music.
69 – Liberals believe Whoopi Goldberg is knowledgable and informative.
70 – Liberals believe Michelle Obama is attractive.
Trump
71 – Liberals believe Trump colluded with the Russians to steal the 2016 election.
72 – Liberals believe Trump said there were good Nazis.
73 – Liberals believe Trump called dead U.S. soldiers “suckers.”
74 – Liberals believe Trump used the presidency to enrich himself.
75 – Liberals believe Trump nominating Justices was packing the Supreme Court.
76 – Liberals believe Trump economy, the best ever, was a disaster.
77 – Liberals believe Trump imperiled journalists by calling them “fake news.”
78 – Liberals believe Trump lost the 2020 election.
Crazy Joe
79 – Liberals believe Joe Biden won the 2020 election.
80 – Liberals believe Joe Biden got the most votes in U.S. election history.
81 – Liberals believe Joe Biden isn’t racist.
82 – Liberals believe Joe Biden isn’t a sexual predator.
83 – Liberals believe Joe Biden developed the COVID-19 vaccine.
84 – Liberals believe Joe Biden is tough on Russia and China.
85 – Liberals believe Joe Biden tells the truth.
86 – Liberals believe Joe Biden accomplished a lot in his 50 years in Washington.
87 – Liberals believe Joe Biden had no idea what his crackhead son was doing in Ukraine.
88 – Liberals belive Joe Biden can find his ass with a map.
89 – Liberals believe Joe Biden is in control of his mental facilities.
90 – Liberals believe Joe Biden is in control of the United States.
Fake News
91 – Liberals believe CNN.
92 – Liberals believe MSNBC.
93 – Liberals believe ABC.
94 – Liberals believe CBS.
95 – Liberals believe NBC.
96 – Liberals believe The New York Times.
97 – Liberals believe The Washington Post.
98 – Liberals believe The Los Angeles Times.
99 – Liberals believe The Huffington Post.
And finally
100 – Liberals believe their own bullshit.
That’s 100 thing which liberals believe that are demonstrably false. I tried to make a list of thing liberals believe that are true, but I need up staring blankly at a computer screen for an hour, so I moved on.
