Joe Biden made a lot of promises running for president that he didn’t keep: beating COVID-19, building back better, restoring the middle-class, etc… but he’s at least doing one of his campaign platforms: restoring respect for America in the world’s eyes. The illegitimate president gained massive respect by cutting a big juicy fart in front of the British royal family.
The Daily Mail reports that America is back:
He is supposed to be committed to reducing emissions – but when President Joe Biden produced a little natural gas of his own at the COP26 summit, it was audible enough to make the Duchess of Cornwall blush.
An informed source has told The Mail on Sunday that Camilla was taken aback to hear Biden break wind as they made polite small talk at the global climate change gathering in Glasgow last week.
‘It was long and loud and impossible to ignore,’ the source said. ‘Camilla hasn’t stopped talking about it.’
The President met the Duchess during a reception on Monday at the Kelvingrove Art Gallery, attended by Prince Charles, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge and Boris Johnson.
Apparently, the Queen was supposed to attend this event but her doctors advised against it. How could those doctors possibly know that Biden was going to release toxic gasses?
And there’s no way the “long and loud” flatulence wasn’t also nose hair-curdling. Biden is an exhumed mummy with a love of dairy (ice cream) so when he rips one, the wallpaper peels off and birds fall out of the sky.
The Daily Mail report makes no mention of Biden excusing himself after butt-blasting Prince Charles’ wife. The reason for that is obvious: his mind is gone. As soon as he farted, he forgot it he did it. He was probalby standing there politely, smelling ass gas, and thinking, “Did Camilla Parker Bowles just shit her pants?”
Speaking of which, earlier in his European trip, Joe was rumored to have shit his pants while meeting with the Pope. That story didn’t have much accreditation but we chose to believe it because it’s funny and certainly within Biden’s capabilities. This farting-on-the-royal-family story however has much more to back it up, so it definitely happened.
Also, it’s not without precedent. Back in May 2020, while Biden was doing a Zoom call with Pennsylvania Governor Tom Wolfe, he let one fly:
The big difference here is that Wolfe was not in the same room with Biden and didn’t have to smell it. Poor Camilla didn’t have such a luxury.
When Donald Trump was President, Joe Biden accused him of ruining America’s reputation with the world. Trump did get NATO to pay its fair share, stopped unfair trade practices, and negotiated historic peace agreements but according to Biden, the world didn’t respect us.
Now that he occupies the White House, Joe is gaining back that respect by falling asleep, babbling incoherently, and farting on the British Royal Family. His plan to restore respect for the U.S. is as solid as his immigration policy, growing the economy, and pulling out of Afghanistan so at least he’s consistent.
