The biggest WTF? this week was when Biden’s SCOTUS pick Ketanji Brown Jackson said she couldn’t define a woman because she’s not a biologist. Here’s a bunch of WTF? that you don’t need to be a WTFologist to identify:
Headline of the Week
8-year-old innocent’s Head beheaded, then carried it around the whole village
A 30-year-old man was arrested on Friday for allegedly beheading an 8-year-old girl and roaming around the village with a severed head in a tragic incident in Odisha’s Jajpur district. Police said that the intention behind this tragic incident in the village of Zamankira Mandal is yet to be ascertained and people are in a quandary about the incident. The girl had gone to defecate in the field in the morning, after which, the culprit reached there with an axe and beheaded her. He later walked into the village with the severed head, went to a tubewell and washed it.
When the wife of the criminal saw the severed head in his hand, she had a fight with him, but he threatened to cut his wife with an axe. The criminal then slept on the ground there. Kuchinda sub-divisional police officer Rajkishore Mishra said that police reached the spot and arrested the culprit. Investigations have revealed that he is addicted to drugs.
The officer said, “We are yet to find out what was going on in his mind while executing the incident. People said that the culprit used to fight with the family of the deceased girl on the day he came but he was not mentally retarded.
But the headline writer is definitely retarded.
No-Brainer of the Week
Police have commended a woman for her bravery after she bit an intruder’s penis as he repeatedly raped her during a break-in at her home.
The victim, 60, clamped her teeth around 36-year old Brian Brough’s person as he forced her into a sex act at her home near Salford.
The father-of-three freed himself but then beat the woman in fit of rage and raped her again, leaving her with multiple bone fractures to her face.
The woman fled to a neighbour’s house and was rushed to hospital where she was treated for a fractured jaw, black eyes, a broken nose and internal injuries.
The attack in Little Hulton, near Salford occurred late at night on March 19 last year.
Brough knocked on the victim’s front door claiming to be a friend of her neighbour.
‘She went into the front room but was followed by the defendant and as she sat on the sofa he sat next to her and put his arm around her.
‘He told her that he was a male escort and took his penis out, saying, ‘look, this is what I do.’
‘She told him that she was not interested, but he grabbed her head and forced it onto him.
‘In response, she bit the defendant’s penis which prompted him to hit her in the face.’
Mr Kellet said: ‘She was then dragged into the bedroom by the hair and thrown onto the bed.
‘She described trying to fight him off and push him away but he kept punching her and she recalls passing out and coming round.
Mr Kellet said the victim screamed and tried to stop him raping her, but he punched her, causing her to black-out again.
‘When she came round, he had gone,’ he said. ‘While she was semi-conscious, she could hear him rummaging around, and she also heard one of her dogs yelping, she assumed from being kicked by the defendant.
As police searched for Brough, he arrived at the home of a friend with the victim’s two Samsung mobile phones and with blood on his hands. He was later arrested at Wigan market.
When police asked former male escort Brough to account for his movements on the night of the rape, he told them: ‘I haven’t got a clue — ask my brain.’
If his brain doesn’t know, maybe his chomped-on penis does.
Zipper of the Week
Firemen come to rescue of boy whose genitals were caught in zipper
Fire and Rescue Department personnel came to the rescue of an eight-year-old boy in Semporna who had managed to get his genitals stuck in the zipper of his trousers on Thursday (Mar 24) evening.
The Fire and Rescue Department initially received the report at 4.23pm Thursday about the incident that occurred at SK Kampung Simunul.
“The victim ended up in his predicament after going to the toilet.
“The district Fire and Rescue team assisted in opening the zipper using specific tools, and after ensuring the safety of the boy, ended the operation at 4.48pm,” a state Fire and Rescue spokesman said.
The best way is to rip it off quick, like a bandaid.
Bugger of the Week
Businessman stuck in Costa Rica after flesh-eating bug infected his genitals
A British man developed a flesh-eating disease that infected his genitals after undergoing a minor medical procedure during a recent business trip to Costa Rica, according to a report.
Colin Graw, 47, who traveled to the Central American country to pursue a business opportunity, underwent the operation and was discharged the same day, but soon developed intense pain, LancsLive reported.
Four days later, doctors told him he was suffering from necrotising fasciitis, a rare but serious flesh-eating bacterial infection that affects the tissue under the skin and surrounding muscles and organs.
Making matters worse, he contracted Fournier’s gangrene, a form of necrotizing fasciitis that affects the scrotum, penis or perineum, according to the outlet.
Graw underwent grueling surgeries to remove the infected tissues and was left with multiple wounds and intense pain.
He has been put on antibiotics to fight off the flesh-eating disease but is susceptible to more infections and goes to the hospital three times a week to prevent them, according to LancsLive.
Replace the words “business opportunity” with “Cost Rican prostitute” to better understand this rotting penis situation.
Nappers of the Week
Kidnappers poured boiling water on victim’s genitals and fed him fake poison
A man was tortured and imprisoned for 12 hours after he was kidnapped off the streets by a gang.
The victim was snatched from outside his house in north Manchester and bundled into a car before bring brought to Jennifer Baker’s house.
He was bound and gagged, had boiling water poured over his genitals and was forced to swallow tablets which he was told contained rat poison…
He was overpowered by four men and bundled into a car.
After being taken to Baker’s home in Blackley, the 30-year-old was punched in the face and dragged around different rooms of the house.
He was struck by a chair, had his head hit against a wall and was kicked, before the attackers tied him to a chair and bound his hands and feet.
A sock was forced into his mouth, and fixed in place with Sellotape.
The victim was brought into the living room and ordered to hand over money.
After telling his kidnappers he had no cash, he was attacked again.
Boiling water was then poured on his body including his genitals and he was told he was going to be injected with heroin, and that a roll of cling film was going to be forced into his bottom after his trousers had been pulled down.
He was forced to swallow tablets which he was told contained rat poison.
Tests later showed they were actually an antidepressant.
Later, he was taken to an upstairs bedroom and “in panic” he urinated.
Twelve hours later he managed to escape the house and flee to safety, having sustained serious injuries including burns.
Despite the ordeal, the man was in a surprisingly good mood.
Slicer of the Week
Wife Severs Husband’s Genitals After Learning He Sexually Assaulted Stepdaughter
In a fit of anger, it may be hard to control our emotions. When a loved one is in danger, especially, some of us may go to extreme lengths to protect them.
One woman in Vietnam did just that, severing her husband’s genitals after she discovered that he had been sexually assaulting their stepdaughter.
According to Vietnam Insider, the 36-year-old wife, Ha Thi N., lives together with her 15-year-old daughter and 29-year-old husband Nguyen Van H. in Son La Province, Vietnam.
After receiving complaints from her daughter about her husband’s “unusual” behaviour, N. installed a camera in the teenager’s room.
On 18 Mar, she checked the camera and discovered exactly what her daughter meant, reported Thanh Nien Newspaper.
Upset by what she saw, N. decided to commit quite an unthinkable act.
Consumed by anger after watching the webcam footage, the wife reportedly grabbed a knife and cut her husband’s penis before throwing it away.
At the hospital, doctors allegedly found the husband’s injuries to be too complicated, as all his genitalia were cut off completely, close to his torso.
Unfortunately, medics at the emergency room who tried to save the man after the incident couldn’t reattach his genitals.
I fail to see how that’s unfortunate.
Puller of the Week
CEDARTOWN MAN ARRESTED AFTER MASTURBATING IN FRONT OF POLICE
Lorenzo Tolbert, 42 of Cedartown, was arrested this week after reports said he pulled his penis out of his pants and began to masturbate in front of a police officer.
Reports stated that Tolbert then refused commands of officers to remove his hands from his penis.
A search then led officers to find him in possession of methamphetamine.
Tolbert is charged with public indecency, obstruction and possession of methamphetamine.
PREVIOUS June 4 2019
Lorenzo Junior Tolbert, 39 of Cedartown, was arrested in the parking lot of Proctor-Keene Chiropractic Care on Martha Berry Blvd this week after reports said he exposed his penis while wearing only female underwear.
Put your hands behind your head and step away from the penis.
Grabber of the Week
Woman charged after allegedly grabbing Police officer’s genitals
According to an affidavit, police charged a woman after she allegedly grabbed an officer’s genitals during a breath analysis test on Friday.
An affidavit obtained by News4 said 25-year-old Ashanti M. Boyd inappropriately grabbed an officer while he was allegedly charging her with a DUI.
An official said that the officer reportedly brought Boyd into the breath analysis room outside of booking. The affidavit noted that Boyd was handcuffed with her hand behind her back.
The affidavit said that when they entered the room, Boyd began to bed to be let go and complained that her wrists hurt due to the tightness of the handcuffs behind her back. The officer removed her handcuff and, in good faith, handcuffed her in the front.
After the officer did this, Boyd reportedly started begging to be let go. However, this time, the affidavit said Boyd grabbed the officer’s genitals over the top of his pants with both of her hands. The officer immediately pushed Boyd away and moved her back, telling her to stop.
The affidavit said as the officer was explaining to Boyd how a breath analysis test worked, she grabbed at his genitals a second time while begging to be once again let go.
According to the affidavit, the officer reported pushing her away and telling her to stop. The officer determined she could not perform the test due to her level of intoxication.
A bribe is more effective if it’s something someone would want.
Crapper of the Week
Florida man arrested for drugs after getting trapped in porta-potty
A Florida man was left screaming after getting trapped in a porta-potty — then was promptly busted for drug possession by the cops who bailed him out.
Bystanders called Naples police after hearing James Gousse, 34, shouting for help Sunday night while stuck in the mobile latrine.
An arriving deputy heard Gousse’s yells and spotted his foot protruding from the porta potty’s door.
The officer successfully dislodged Gousse and told him to sit down nearby.
He told cops that he had somehow gotten his foot jammed and couldn’t get out.
Cops searched the john and found a powdery substance that later tested positive for fentanyl.
Too high to shit is a new one.
Nutter of the Week
Putnam County toddlers found covered in feces, peanut butter, leading to child abuse arrest
A Putnam County man is facing charges of child abuse after two toddlers were found living in a camper in deplorable conditions, covered in feces, an incident report from the Putnam County Sheriff’s Office says.
Deputies arrested 34-year-old Owen Kyle Watson Wednesday on two counts of child neglect and a violation of probation warrant out of St. Johns County. The deputies went to Watson’s home to serve the warrant when they saw him walking with a 2-year-old toddler outside of a disable RV motor home, the report states.
When deputies put Watson in the patrol car to arrest him, one of the deputies took the toddler and realized her clothing was wet and her diaper felt “soggy,” and she “was hit with a horrendous smell of feces and urine,” the report states. The deputy asked Watson if she could change the toddler’s diaper and get clean clothes from inside the RV. Watson said yes and that there was also a 1-year-old child inside the RV, according to the report.
The deputy could hear the 1-year-old screaming from inside the RV, which had an open door, the report states. The inside was in deplorable condition, with clothes, toys and filth on the floor and a small couch, smelling of feces and dirt, according to the report.
The 1-year-old was standing nude in his crib, covered in feces and peanut butter, according to the report.
The 1-year-old was covered in a thick layer of peanut butter and feces all over his body, the report states. He also had sores on his legs and feet that appeared to be bug bites.
“I was able to wipe some of the peanut butter off with baby wipes, but it was so thick I was not able to get it all off,” the deputy said in the report.
Mom put dad in charge and this is what happened. Actually, meth is what happened.
Ejector of the Week
Human corpse ejected from van in NJ crash involving horse trailer
A corpse being transported to a funeral home flew out of a van after a crash in New Jersey involving five vehicles, including a horse trailer, on Friday, police said.
Three people suffered minor injuries in the pile-up and were hospitalized, according to the Paramus Police Department.
The body was on a stretcher wrapped in a sheet when it fell out of the back of a Honda Odyssey on Route 17 South near Route 4 in Paramus around 3:45 p.m., cops told The Daily Voice.
The corpse, which was being transported from a hospital, was not damaged, Paramus Police Chief Kenneth Ehrenberg told the outlet.
A pick-up truck pulling the horse trailer rear-ended a Jeep Wrangler, sparking a chain reaction, according to the report.
The horse was uninjured, police said. It was spotted by witnesses eating grass by the side of the highway before another trailer picked it up.
Does Farmers Insurance cover freeway corpses?
Licker of the Week
Florida Man, 20, Filmed Sexually Assaulting ‘Family Dog’ with ‘His Tongue … and Fingers’
A Florida man is under investigation after a video that allegedly shows him sexually abusing his dog was obtained by police.
Nicholas Schaab, 20, is accused of digitally and orally assaulting his “family dog,” according to a petition filed by the New Smyrna Beach Police Department Animal Services.
Officers learned of the video from Schaab’s ex-girlfriend, who identified the victim in the case as Berkley.
In the petition filed in court on Wednesday, Officer M. Wilk states:
Nicholas Schaab knowingly engaged in sexual contact with an animal (family dog) by using his tongue to lick the anus of the dog and use his fingers to digitally touch the anus. Mr. Schaab also recorded video footage of the sexual contact.
Officer Wilk states that a former girlfriend of Schaab alerted authorities to the video after it was sent to her by an unknown number, according to the petition.
The video showed two males. [Redacted] was able to identify one as Nicholas Schaab. [Redacted] was in a previous relationship with Mr. Schaab. The second male [redacted] believes is Dillon, unknown last name. In the video you can see the dog (Berkeley) laying [sic] on the couch. [Redacted] explained she recognized the couch and that it is in Mr. Schaab’s residence [redacted]. Mr. Schaab is then seen grabbing the dog’s tail and moving it to the side. You can then see Mr. Schaab put his face to the dog’s anus and lick the anus of the dog. Mr. Schaab is also seen using his fingers to point and touch at the dogs [sic] anus. [Redacted] explained that she was very disturbed by the video so she deleted the number the video came from but saved the video.
Let me win back your love with this video of me licking my dog’s asshole.
WTFart? of the Week
Singer in hospital after being too embarrassed to fart in front of boyfriend
A Brazilian singer has admitted she was sent to hospital to be treated for trapped gas because she didn’t want to pass wind in front of her boyfriend.
Viviane de Queiroz Pereira, who is also known as Pocah, shared snaps from her medical room with millions of online followers on Instagram.
“I woke up at 5.30am with severe stomach pains and ended up in the hospital,” the 27-year-old explained.
“But that’s it, guys. I’m now fine. Just an accumulation of trapped farts.”
She said: “Girls, don’t be ashamed to fart in front of your guy…
“What’s really embarrassing is not letting your guy sleep because you’re in discomfort, going to hospital with your guy, and the diagnosis being trapped farts.
“From now on, I’m letting them rip, guys.”
Let ‘er rip, tater chip.
WTF? of the Week
Nurse horrified to discover 20lb tumour with teeth and hair growing in her ovary
A tragic woman who was struggling to lose weight was horrified to discover a tumour with teeth and hair was growing inside her ovary.
Jaimi Conwell had been attempting to lose weight for years and and tried everything from exercising to calorie counting and keto foods.
She even started to gain weight rapidly, despite eating a healthy diet and working out twice a day.
Jaimi, 28, a nurse from Texas, decided to see a doctor after realising something wasn’t right in March.
“I would bend over to tie my shoe and get nauseous, which I thought was normal for bigger people,” she recalled.
“I got my blood count checked to make sure everything was normal and my white blood cells came back abnormal.
“I was placed under anaesthesia, but was with my mum who I made a proxy so she could make any decisions for me.
“The doctor came in and told her I had a massive tumour in my abdomen that had engulfed my right ovary.
“He asked if they could remove it and my mum agreed, so I had the tumour along with my right ovary removed.
“After I woke up, I took a walk with my mum and I could see the worry in her face, so I knew something wasn’t right.
“She told me about the tumour and that they were unsure if it was benign.
Jaimi was diagnosed with a teratoma tumour, a slow-growing tumour that had been growing for her whole life.
The tumour weighed 20lbs, leading doctors to believe it was taking all of the nutrients from her body in order to grow. It also grew hair and contained teeth.
Jaimi said: “I was in shock, as that’s like having three kids inside of you.
“They said it could be due to a number of things and as my mum, grandfather and aunties are twins, maybe I had a twin in my mum’s womb.
In another shocking twist it turns out Jaimi was the evil twin not the tumor. They killed the wrong one!
