This week we learned that denying the results of an election is not a threat to democracy if democrats do it. Here’s some WTF? that’s a threat no matter who does it:
Headline of the Week
Vegan went straight to McDonald’s after dog attack left him ‘betrayed by animal kingdom’
A vegan influencer says he turned his back on his non-meat eating regime by going straight to McDonald’s after he was angered by animals following an attack by a dog.
Mariano de la Canal told Argentine media that he instantly gave up being a vegan after the dog bite left him “feeling betrayed by the animal kingdom”.
A short while after the attack the influencer, who has more than 455,000 followers on Instagram, says he found himself in the burger joint “automatically” and ordering from the menu.
Speaking to Argentine newspaper Infobae he said: “I stopped being a vegan because a dog bit me, so I got angry and said: ‘I’m campaigning for the animals, and then one of them comes and bites me’. That’s when I stopped being a vegan.”
The 34-year-old, who first became famous in his home country of Argentina after appearing on the reality TV show Showmatch, added: “The truth is that I campaigned for all that, veganism, vegetarianism, all that.”
He added: “But a dog bit me on the street and I said: ‘Wow, I’m trying a lot for them and one of their pack comes and bites me!’ So no, I went to McDonald’s, automatically.”
Shouldn’t he eat a dog? It’s not like he was attacked by a cow.
Ruler of the Week
Boy, 15, gets USB cable stuck inside penis
A teenage boy needed surgery after getting a USB cable stuck inside his penis.
The teenager, from the UK, was using the cord in an attempt to measure his penis as a form of “sexual experimentation” when it became trapped, according to a medical case report.
The cable became knotted and blood was spotted in the boy’s urine, leading his mother to take him to hospital.
Medics were unable to remove the wire with a metal rod, so had to perform surgery to get it out his body.
Surgeons made an incision between his genitals and his anus to gain access to the cable, and successfully removed it.
The boy wore a catheter for two weeks and has since had it removed. He has recovered well.
You know you f*cked up when doctors have to cut open your gooch.
Contraband of the Week
The donkey penises were being smuggled to Hong Kong in 16 sacks but customs officers at Murtala Muhammed airport in the Nigerian city of Lagos intercepted the packages.
Sambo Dangaladima, the customs controller at the airport, told the BBC that the animal parts were found in sacks in the animal export section.
He said that a pungent smell was coming from the bags, arousing suspicion among the customs officers who then opened the packages to find the 7,000 donkey penises.
Dangaladima said that a suspect linked to the shipment, which is worth an estimated 200 million Naira (£416,000), managed to escape.
The illicit trade of donkey parts – including the animal’s penises and skin – from Nigeria to China is common.
The animal parts are used in China to make a traditional medicine called ejiao.
Why don’t they have donkey dicks in China?
Lumberjack of the Week
75-year-old man, upset over ‘urinary issues’, chops off genitals with axe
In a bizarre fold of events in Madhya Pradesh, an individual, who was reportedly troubled with a health condition, cut off his own private parts with an axe. The elderly man amputated his genitals owing to pain and inconvenience while urinating. He was rushed to a hospital in Damoh while a complaint was filed at the Mahron Police Station.
He literally had an axe to grind with his own dick.
KO of the Week
Australian bare-knuckle fighter Tai Emery shocked spectators in Thailand after she flashed her breasts at them following a devastating knockout victory on Saturday.
35-year-old Emery was making her debut in the Bare Knuckle Fighting Championship and made swift work of her veteran opponent Rung-Arun Khunchai, knocking her out in the first round.
After being declared the winner, Emery scaled the ropes and lifted her top and revealed her exposed breasts to the crowd who were audibly shocked by what they saw.
“Interesting celebration right there, haven‘t seen that one before!” said one of the commentators as Emery revelled in her victory.
Emery is not just a bare-knuckle fighter. She is also a former American Football player, is an Instagram influencer with more than 52,000 followers and is also an OnlyFans model.
The was her debut in the bare-knuckle fighting world having previously lost two amateur fights in MMA.
Now that’s a celebration.
Ass of the Week
Sick creep caught on CCTV ‘sniffing booty’ of unsuspecting customer in pet store
A creep lurking in a pet supply store was caught on CCTV sniffing the butts of unsuspecting shopper.
Hollywood Unlocked claims the shocking footage, which has gone viral, is from a pet supply store in Texas, US.
In the clip, the man wearing sneakers, black sweatpants and a grey Adidas hoodie acts natural as he pretends to peruse the shelves.
The suddenly, he sees an opportunity to sniff and lurks towards a pair of women, who at that point coincidentally walk away.
The man follows and as the women stop, he too hits the brakes and again pretends to look at products.
Then the man slowly lunges in towards the woman closest to him, appearing to take a large whiff of her behind.
Neither of the women realise and the man returns to a standing position.
He pretends to reach for something from a lower shelf and again dives towards the woman nearest to him, and in full view of the camera, takes a second whiff.
The woman appears to turn around and the man jumps up and grabs an item from the shelf, acting natural. The women, who appear suspicious, walk away quickly.
When the women are out of sight he puts the product he grabbed back on the shelf and walks off himself, happy with his work.
That’s how dogs say hello. And Joe Biden.
Delusion of the Week
Woman claims she was arrested at airport for being too ‘good-looking’
A woman arrested for skipping the tab at an airport restaurant accused police of harassing her because she was too “good-looking.”
Hend Bustami, 28, left a Chili’s Tex-Mex outpost at Harry Reid International Airport last Wednesday without paying her bill, news station KTLA reported.
Las Vegas Metropolitan Police called to the scene found the self-described “hospitality professional” sleeping “near the security checkpoint, hindering their operations.”
Bustami was eventually arrested by the baggage claim, where an arrest report said she appeared intoxicated and was “belligerent” with officers.
Bustami claimed “‘she was being harassed because cops [had] never seen anyone as pretty as her,’” police said.
Authorities eventually learned the young woman had another outstanding warrant from Las Vegas Municipal Court. It is unclear what these charges were.
While being arrested, Bustami threatened to “‘spit on all [the officers]’” while saying that “‘officers were perverts and were trying to rape her because they [had] never seen anyone as good looking,’” according to the report.
Nope.
Snack of the Week
Shocked neighbors find monitor lizards feeding on dead lonely man’s corpse
Thailand is left shocked after a man was found dead in his rented house in the country’s capital, Bangkok.
The 50-year-old man had apparently died in the toilet and was only discovered after two days when neighbors began complaining of a foul smell.
When volunteers from the Ruamkatanyu Foundation arrived at the rented unit at Khlong Toei district, they were shocked to find two monitor lizards feeding on the corpse, according to Thai media Matichon Online.
The man was found nude at 12.30 p.m. on September 3, 2022, with his bloated body already in the process of decaying.
Amarin TV reports that the two monitor lizards had most likely entered the toilet through a hole in the rusty corrugated metal sheets that served as a makeshift wall.
They were nibbling away at the man’s ears, legs, and other body parts when authorities had discovered the body.
I’ve had better Thai food than this.
GOAT of the Week
Alleged goat rapist killed by mob in northern KZN
A 21-year-old man accused of bestiality was killed by an angry mob in northern KwaZulu-Natal after he was allegedly caught raping a goat.
Police spokesperson Const Thenjiswa Ngcobo said the incident occurred in the early hours on Monday in the rural village Qwayinduku, near Mtunzini.
“It is alleged by a 61-year-old female that in the early hours of September 5 she was sleeping when she heard someone breaking a window in her house. She told the intruder she would use a bush knife if he tried to come in through the window he had broken.
“When the 21-year-old failed to enter the house, he turned and raped a goat that belonged to the woman. When she heard her goat crying she woke her son who was sleeping in another house and the man was caught in action.”
According to the woman’s son, after alerting the community an angry mob descended on the area and beat the man to death.
“Police were called to the murder scene where the man was found with head and face injuries. He was declared dead on the scene. A case of murder was registered at Mtunzini police station and the matter is under investigation,” said Ngcobo.
Live by the goat, die by the goat.
Coincidence of the Week
Speeding woman on cocaine kills drunk driver high on meth in North Las Vegas
A speeding woman is accused of driving under the influence of cocaine and alcohol when she crashed into another car, killing its driver who was under the influence of methamphetamine, police said.
Summer Butler, 37, faces charges of DUI resulting in death, reckless driving and being in possession of a controlled substance in connection with the fatal crash in January, court documents obtained by the 8 News Now I-Team said.
On Jan. 14, North Las Vegas police reported a two-car crash near Cheyenne Avenue and Civic Center Drive. Police said a car was making a U-Turn in a center lane, causing the front of another car, which Butler was driving, to collide with it. The driver and the passenger in the first car were both ejected from the vehicle, police said.
Butler’s car traveled about 150 feet before it stopped in some landscaping, police said. All three people involved were taken to the hospital. There, police said Butler “was acting erratic [and] had to be sedated by medical staff,” a report said.
While a trauma paramedic was attending to Butler’s injuries, “a small baggie containing a white substance fell out of the left side of her bra,” police said. Police confirmed the substance was cocaine.
Nearly two weeks after the crash, blood tests confirmed Butler had cocaine and cannabinoids in her system. The blood draw also found Butler had an alcohol level of .102, which is above the legal limit.
The victim who died in the crash had a blood alcohol level more than three times above the legal limit. The person also had a substantial amount of methamphetamine in their system, police said.
That’s kind of the way the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup was invented.
Growth of the Week
Stunned surgeon removes 100-pound tumor woman lived with for 5 years
A petite Brazilian woman is undoubtedly feeling a lot lighter after doctors removed an almost 100-pound tumor that she had been living with for five years. Photos of the abdominal interloper are currently blowing up on Facebook.
“It is not every day you operate on a tumor of that size!” presiding surgeon Glaucio Boechat told Jam Press of the unprecedented procedure, which went down on Aug. 31 at the Hospital São José do Avaà in Rio de Janeiro.
The unnamed patient, who stood 4-foot-9 and weighed 330 pounds, had reported to the clinic after suffering from shortness of breath, allegedly caused by the massive mass. There, doctors discovered that her midsection harbored a tumor weighing 100 pounds — as much as a baby hippo and comprising nearly a third of her body weight.
Accompanying photos, shared by Dr. Boechat, depict the growth before and after extraction from the woman’s body. The latter shows the doctor posing with the tumor post-op like a farmer with a prized pumpkin.
“It was the biggest tumor I have operated on and certainly one of the biggest that anyone has ever removed,” said the surgeon, who has nearly two decades of experience.
Scientists speculated that the mass originated in the woman’s uterus but won’t know for sure until the results of the biopsy arrive in approximately 20 days, Jam Press reported.
If that wasn’t jaw-dropping enough, the woman had the humongous hanger-on for a whopping five years — although it’s unclear why it hadn’t been dealt with until now.
4-foot-9 and 230 pounds is still pretty fat.
Fold of the Week
Mum born with no collarbones shows off ‘party trick’ by folding body in half
A British mum who was born with no collar bones has revealed her ‘party trick’ – and has left people amazed.
Danielle has a rare genetic condition called Cleidocranial Dysplasia (CCD) that affects the development of the bones, skull and teeth.
In her case, she was born without any collar bones and has affected the growth of her teeth.
But that has not stopped Danielle living a life of a positivity.
Having built up a fanbase of 36,000 followers on TikTok, the mum has embraced her condition along with raising awareness about it.
In the clip that has racked up 400,000 views, Danielle shared what she can do with her the absence of her collar bones.
As she pouted in front of the camera, the mum explained: “When someone asks what I bring to the table…I have no collarbones trick works every time.”
Danielle then proceeded to push her arms inwards which made her shoulders touch and appeared to fold her torso in half.
“What’s your party trick?” she quipped in the caption.
Folded in half, she’s still pretty fat.
Scrub of the Week
Mum ‘addicted’ to tattoos can’t find job after getting 3 ‘prison style’ inkings a week
A mum “addicted” to tattoos claims she gets three a week – and carries her inking gun wherever she goes.
Melissa Sloan got her first tattoo at the age of 20 and has not stopped with her body modifications since.
The 45-year-old, who lives in Wales, has inkings all over her body – including spider webs on her boobs and bold designs all over her face.
The mum-of-two revealed her inkings are mainly done “prison style” by her boyfriend at home.
She admitted: “I have three tattoos a week.
“It’s like when you have a fag or a drink, you get addicted. I can’t stop it now, it’s addictive, for me anyway. I just can’t stop it.
However, that doesn’t mean her love for tattoos has not negatively impacted her life.
The mum shared: “I can’t get a job. They won’t have me. I applied for a job cleaning toilets where I live and they won’t have me because of my tattoos.
Mum?
What the Pork? of the Week
Mutant piglet with elephant’s trunk growing out of its forehead ‘a sign of good luck’
An adorable mutant piglet has been called a symbol of good fortune after it was born with a strange defect on its forehead.
The creature was born on Friday as one of a litter of 12 piglets on the island of Negros in the Philippines, but this newborn was different from its siblings as it had what appeared to be an elephant-like trunk on its forehead.
Pictures of the creature showed the strange animal’s long trunk-like appendage protruding from its forehead in addition to the usual pig snout found in the usual spot.
Dailyn Delada Desabille, who owns the piglets’ mother, was shocked when she saw the creature.
“We were all shocked that its face was like that,” she said.
“It looks like an elephant with a snout on its forehead, its two eyes are close together and its feet are big like an elephant’s.
“I was surprised and pitied it.”
However not everyone felt sympathy for the baby pig – after Dailyn shared pictures of the beast online, people began responding that it could bring her good luck.
She added: “They say it’s lucky because of the piglet’s strange face.”
However the piglet itself wasn’t so lucky, only surviving 30 minutes after its birth before it died and Dailyn buried it.
“It died because he couldn’t breathe properly,” Dailyn explained.
The island of Negros?
WTF? of the Week
Meet the strange Mardudjara tribe where boys eat foreskin of their penis after circumcision
This is as some cultures practiced unconventional rites of passage from boyhood to manhood. An example is that of the Australian Mardudjara Aborigines tribe. The rites of passage for males consists of two parts: circumcision and subincision.
In this tribe a boy of around 15 or 16 years is ready to become a man and has to go through this painful ritual. This begins with the elders taking the boy to a fire and have him lie down next to it.
The young man is surrounded by other members of the tribe, some of whom sing and dance while others, called mourners, cry.
Then the circumcision begins. This involves the tribal elder in charge of the circumcision sitting on top of the boy’s chest facing his penis. The young man is given a boomerang to bite and then this elder pulls up the foreskin, twists it and two other persons, cut it off with knives.
Next, the boy is told to kneel on a shield that’s placed over the fire so the smoke can rise up and purify his wound.
Then the weirdest part of the ritual begins. This is where the boy is given his freshly removed foreskin to swallow without chewing. As soon as this is done, the boy is told that he has now eaten “his own boy” which will grow inside him, making him a strong man.
This does not mark the end of the ritual as there is another stage called the subincision. Subincision happens a few months after the circumcision, where the young man is taken to a fire again and this time, a small wooden rod is inserted into his urethra to act as a backing for a knife.
Then the knife is used to make a split on the underside of the penis from the frenulum to near the scrotum.
After this incredibly painful process, the boy is told to stand above the fire and allows his blood to drip into it. From that day, the boy squats when he urinates.
My dad just taught me how to shave.
