This week Joe Biden told tales of driving 18-wheelers and meeting Golda Meir during the Day War, things that never happened. Here’s some WTF? that seems hard to believe but actually did happen:
Headline of the Week
Thai women search for biggest prick to squeeze at penis park
The holiday season is here and with it comes cooler days, frantic shopping and, in Thailand’s northeast, women flocking to hug giant penises.
That’s right, in the city of Khon Kaen, women are showing their love for big dick at a wacky park where they can hug phallic erections in hope they will get equally endowed partners.
Located in Khon Kaen’s Ubonrat district, Traitep Dream Forest harbors a Thung Krajiew, or Penis Paddock, where giant penis sculptures sprout from the ground to cast long shadows.
“Whichever penis you hug, you will get a partner of that size,” a sign helpfully instructs.
The sign also points out that the women need to leave the continent of Asia to find that well-endowed partner.
Bottler of the Week
Woman threatened to ‘cut off boy’s penis and skin his dog’ after smashing vodka bottle on his head
A woman threatened to remove a boy’s privates and rip his facial piercings out with pliers, a court heard.
Aleah Johnson, 38, and a teenager who can not be identified, then forced the 15-year-old to call the police and confess to a serious sexual offence.
This was despite there being no evidence he had committed such a crime.
Stephen Parker, prosecuting, told Preston Crown Court that Johnson and the teen lured the schoolboy to the Bispham Rock Gardens, Blackpool, using a mutual friend’s Snapchat profile.
When the boy got there he was told to fight with the teenager. When he refused, Johnson hit him over the head with a bottle of vodka, causing it to smash and drench him with liquor. The pair then set upon him with the teenager putting his foot on the boy’s head as Johnson kicked him to the face.
Johnson clipped the pliers to the crotch area of the boy’s jeans and told him if he did not confess she would “come back and cut it off.”
She threatened to “skin his dog, slit his mum’s throat, set fire to his house and pull his facial piercings out with pliers”.
As the terrified youngster was on the phone to the police, Johnson grabbed his fingernail with the tool and mouthed the forced confession to him, Mr Parker told the court.
Somebody get that bitch a Snickers bar.
Boner of the Week
Male ‘Genital-Like’ Form Found In Trash
Maruapula residents are reeling in shock after what is suspected to resemble human male genitalia was discovered in a dustbin cage behind the Choppies Supermarket in the area on Thursday.
The thing that resembles a man’s private part, was discovered in the dustbin cage containing boxes disposed of by Choppies Supermarket. Other items found include what appears to be the leg of a hyena with long nails wrapped with beads, the horn of a cow, a goat’s tail (seditse), a broken vase or nkgwana as well as small receptacles containing what looks like traditional herbs. Confirming the incident, Central Police Station commander, superintendent Mothusi Phadi said they suspect that the items might have been used by traditional doctors for traditional purposes. “We suspect that they were used for traditional purposes and later dumped there.
They don’t call the store “Choppies” for nothing.
Banger of the Week
Porn star slept with 900 men in 1 day – but was ‘bored’ so ordered McDonald’s
People have been left shocked after they found out the record for the most amount of men someone has slept with in a day.
Adult star Lisa Sparks reportedly set the record in 2004 during Eroticon, which hosted the Third Annual World Gangbang Championship.
According to The Sun, Lisa managed to bed 919 men at the event in Warsaw, Poland.
This was over the course of just 7.5 hours – making her a very busy lady that day.
However, she didn’t have the best time during the event, admitted she was so ‘bored’ that she ordered McDonald’s.
“To be completely transparent with you all; this event is the one thing I regret doing in the 21+ years in the porn industry to this day,” she said.
Banging 919 dudes or eating at McDonald’s?
Boober of the Week
Female teacher ‘placed boob on teen student she fell in love with in front of class’
A female teacher allegedly picked up her boob and placed it onto the chest of a teenage student in the middle of class.
Angela Bianca Hilton-Hecht, 44, has been accused of inappropriate behaviour in a classroom in South Carolina after she fell in love with the student.
Local news channel WMBF reports that Hilton-Hecht is accused of lewd conduct and other inappropriate behaviour while working as a substitute teacher at Myrtle Beach High School, who have since terminated her employment.
She was arrested on Thursday and charged with third-degree criminal sexual conduct with a minor; contributing to the delinquency of a minor; and unlawful communication.
An inquiry began at the school in early November after officials became aware of the allegations of Hilton-Hech’s conduct.
A newly released arrest warrant, seen by the news station, claims that a male student was doing TikTok dances with other students during class when Hilton-Hecht approached and grabbed him by the waist.
They said Hilton-Hecht then reportedly told the victim, who is under the age of 16, that she loved him.
She then allegedly “physically lifted her breast with both hands and placed it on the chest of the victim”.
Police confirmed rumours that other students were inside the classroom at the time.
Yuck.
Bomber of the Week
Bomb squad scrambled to A&E after bloke shows up with WWII bomb shoved up his bum
A bomb squad was called to a hospital after a patient was admitted with a mortar shell stuck up his anus on December 2.
Troops from 11 Explosive Ordnance Disposal Regiment rushed to Gloucestershire Royal Hospital after being notified by police “that a patient had presented with a munition in his rectum.”
The man was a military enthusiast who found the mortar round while clearing out and claims he “tripped” and fell onto the piece of army ordnance that landed him in hospital.
Reports say the shell was used by the Royal Artillery in the Second World War as anti-tank rounds, though it would later also be used by British tanks in North Africa.
These rounds measure 57mm in diameter and an eye-watering 170mm in length.
A source told The Sun: “The guy said he found the shell when he was having a clear-out of his stuff.
“He said he put it on the floor then he slipped and fell on it — and it went up his a***.”
The MoD said: “We can confirm an Army Explosive Ordnance Disposal team was called out to Gloucestershire at the request of local police.”
You know that asshole is lying because his asshole ain’t lying.
Barfer of the Week
Bride faints on groom, vomits and is defecated on during disastrous ceremony
An unlucky bride fainted on the groom before her nephew defecated on her wedding gown while she was vomiting.
Hollee Lynnea-Kolenda Darnell, 22, who is from the US city of Minneapolis, Minnesota, got hitched recently to new hubby, Jackson, at a ceremony in Florida.
Though the day started well, a sudden bout of sickness caused her to swoon into her concerned hubby’s arms during their vows.
Her worried sweetheart can be heard asking whether she is okay as she comes back around.
Hollee – dressed in a flowing, white bridal gown – shakes her head and stumbles over to the edge of the gazebo, and vomits over the side.
In the clip, which has since gone viral, her caption read: “I kept trying to tell my husband I didn’t feel good and he thought I was joking.”
The footage ended there, but the bride said there was still more bad wedding luck to come.
In the caption she wrote: “My baby nephew pooped on my dress right after while I was puking.”
In Florida it’s good luck to have your wedding dress shat upon.
Buffer of the Week
Disturbingly buff cat suffers from rare condition that makes animals stack on muscle
A cat has gone viral on Reddit for its unusually buff physique – but it’s not down to its diet and lifestyle habits.
According to the person who posted the image, the pet suffers from myostatin-related muscle hypertrophy that has caused the feline to become absolutely ripped.
The rare condition causes the protein myostatin to under-produce, making the animal get stacked even though it might not be intending to.
Most bodies are made up of conflicting signals that tell us to either grow muscle or prevent muscle from growing, this helps to keep most of our bodies relatively ‘normal.’
However, if there are deficiencies in the myostatin protein, then an individual is able to pile on the bulk and look like they’ve been working out non-stop.
Cattle, sheep, whippets, and humans have all shown evidence of lacking Myostatin but now, it appears the deficiency can also happen in cats, as evidenced by the feline on Reddit.
When she told people her pussy got ripped, they thought something entirely different.
Breastfeeder of the Week
Woman ‘breastfed cat’ on plane and refused to stop as horrified passengers watched on
Shocked plane passengers reportedly watched on in horror as a woman started to breastfeed her cat onboard a flight.
The bizarre news comes from a message from Delta Air flight DL1360 to Atlanta, seemingly from the crew, suggesting that the woman was refusing to stop what she was doing.
The Aircraft Communications Addressing and Reporting System message read: “Req Redcoat meet AC Pax (passenger) in (seat) 13A is breastfeeding a cat and will not put cat back in its carrier when FA (flight attendant) requested.”
“Req Redcoat meet” suggests that the pilot had a member of Delta’s Redcoat ground team meet the passenger after landing.
The message was shared on Twitter with the caption: “Someone just texted me this… what the actual hell?”
When pussy eats you.
Burger of the Week
Horrifying fish discovered which looks like a ‘cheeseburger with teeth’
A fisherman has discovered a bizarre sea creature that social media users claim resembles a ‘cheeseburger with teeth.’
Roman Fedortsov, 39, from Murmansk, Russia, was working on a commercial fishing boat when he made the strange discovery.
While the fisherman usually catches cod, haddock and mackerel while out on the Norwegian and Barents seas, more bizarre and unexpected marine life occasionally gets pulled up on deck too.
After capturing the “unknown beast from the bottom of the sea”, Roman took a picture which he later shared on Instagram.
His social media followers had various comparisons to make about his deep-sea discovery as it has been compared to a cheeseburger or a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.
It has even been compared to a chicken sandwich – thanks to its slimy, orange appearance.
Yeah, if that chicken sandwich was made out of shit.
Boozers of the Week
Drunk driver ran red light, crashed into another drunk driver; 1 child dead, 3 more hurt
Charges have been filed after one child was killed and three more were injured in a crash involving two intoxicated drivers.
Giovanni Romero, 21, and Teresa Miranda-Carvajal, 44, face charges for the Nov. 26 crash.
Investigators say video from a gas station at the corner of Meridian Street and Troy Avenue shows a westbound vehicle driven by Romero disregard a flashing red light at a high rate of speed. A witness to the crash estimated the car was traveling at 70-75 miles per hour.
Romero’s vehicle was struck by a northbound minivan driven by Miranda-Carvajal. When officers first spoke to her, she denied being the driver but investigators say she later admitted that she was driving.
Court documents state that the four children inside of the van were not wearing seatbelts.
Miranda-Carvajal’s husband spoke with detectives. He said they had been at drinking at a house party prior to the crash. Detectives said the husband, Efrain Perez, was difficult to understand due to his level of intoxication but he said his wife was “not bad” and that she was driving. Court documents state she had a BAC of .13%.
An 8-year-old child in the minivan died following the crash.
Detectives say Romero admitted to having “a couple of shots” and was on his way home after leaving the home of an acquaintance, according to court documents. He had a BAC of .09%, according to court documents.
What are the chances?
Blaster of the Week
Drugged up bloke kills pal in shotgun prank assuming friend was wearing bulletproof vest
A man killed his friend in a shotgun prank gone horribly wrong, having fatefully assumed his pal was wearing a fully functioning bulletproof vest.
On Thursday when facing the Victorian Supreme Court, John Nelis pleaded guilty to the involuntary manslaughter of his pal Christopher Jacobs, in Geelong, Australia, in July 2020.
Prior to driving to Jacobs’ caravan alongside another friend, Nelis consumed the drug GHB. The purpose of the two men’s visit was to either swap or sell the gun to Jacobs, according to defence barrister Dermot Dann QC.
Upon arrival, Nelis saw his friend dressed in a bulletproof vest. However it had not been properly fitted with anti-ballistic panels.
Oblivious to this, Nelis pointed the shotgun at Jacobs’ chest and abdomen, firing the weapon without checking to see if it was loaded.
Nelis is said to have yelled out: “It wasn’t meant to be loaded” after pulling the trigger.
Alec Baldwin can sympathize.
WTF? of the Week
Dad ‘hacks wife and four kids to death with axe after he didn’t get onions for dinner’
A Kenyan father allegedly hacked his own wife and four children to death after becoming angry his dinner didn’t have any onions in it.
Paul Murage Njuki is said to have murdered his wife and children using an axe on Monday, November 29, according to Gichugu sub-county Police Commander Anthony Mbogo, who confirmed the incident.
The five victims of the alarming crime have been identified as Millicent Muthoni, 38, Nelly Wawira, 13, Gifton Bundi aged seven, Sheromit Wambui aged five, and one-year-old Clifton Njuk.
Following the slaughter of his whole family, Mbogo explains that Njuki surrendered himself to the Kianyaga Police Station, on the demand to be arrested and locked up for six months on the charge of selling bhang (a paste made from leaves of the marijuana plant).
“I was shocked and ordered my officers to investigate him. He shocked my officers by telling them he had killed his wife and their four children,” recalls Mbogo.
The first victim of the rage attack was the suspect’s wife, whose life he declares to have put an end to using an axe, before moving on to kill the children.
“He hit them with a blunt object before cutting them. He led us to where he said he hid the axe but we did not find anything because of the heavy rains. We are still doing more investigations,” Mbogo states.
The bodies all had severe stab wounds to their heads when found in their beds by police who visited the scene at around 10.30 pm on Monday evening.
Njuki is also suspected to have raped his eldest daughter prior to taking her life. It is believed that he later hid the killer axe along the river banks in his neighbourhood.
That’s the worst case of the muchies I’ve ever heard of.
