People are wondering who the f*ck (WTF?) Joe Biden thinks he he is, where the f*ck (WTF?) their $2,000 checks are, and why the f*ck (WTF?) this braindead fool is the leader of the greatest country in the world. Here’s some WTF? to help keep your minds off of the worst president in any of our lifetimes:
Headline of the Week
An artist who uses her vagina as a camera shutter to take photographs of male subjects is among the creatives whose work features in a book providing an ‘unapologetic look’ at women’s sexuality.
One of its contributors is Brooklyn based artist Dani Lessnau, who captures some of the few portraits of male nudes in the book by using her vagina as a camera shutter.
After feeling her attempt to capture her subject in a ‘normal’ way generated a rather ‘flat’ image which didn’t reflect her perspective on their relationship, she came across the work of Ann Hamilton, who put pinhole cameras in her mouth.
Lessnau said it ‘hit her’ that if Hamilton could do that, what was stopping her putting a camera in another bodily orifice.
She transformed eight plastic film canisters into pinhole cameras and covered each one with a condom – telling the Guardian the process was, like sex, messy, with a single exposure taking up to a minute and a half and requiring her to remain still with her legs apart.
‘Sometimes the shoots were sexual and sometimes they weren’t,’ Lessnau told the publication, adding that she used friends and ex-lovers as her subjects who were initially uneasy about having to stare at her intimate region for prolonged periods of time.
‘But there was always a lot of desire. The men in the series all responded differently – some saw it as fun, freeing. There were always interesting conversations… by the eighth shot, people are disarmed.’
Say dick cheese!
Package of the Week
Bergen Man Sues After Getting Fake Penis In Mail
Nicholas Carretta didn’t appreciate the chocolate penis someone sent to his office in Fair Lawn.
He didn’t like the chocolate feces or exploding glitter bomb that were sent to his home in Oakland either.
Carretta doesn’t know who ordered the packages, but is suing R&D Promos LLC and Rain Parade LLC, the companies responsible for sending them.
According to court documents filed Feb. 26, Carretta “suffered substantial fear, apprehension, harm and emotional distress” from three packages sent to his home and office in 2019 and 2020.
The first was sent to his Fair Lawn office courtesy of Rain Parade, which operates a website under the trade name D**k At Your Door. Available for purchase and delivery are “chocolate novelty gift for your friends, enemies, or just the neighbor who can’t seem to pick up her dog’s poop in your yard.”
Among those “gifts” are imitation penises, which an unnamed sender mailed to Carretta’s office. The delivery “shocked, scared, and offended” him, and “further shocked, scared and offended” him once “the package came in contact with his person,” according to court documents.
The next package didn’t come until Nov. 11, 2020, when a “glitter bomb” arrived at Carretta’s Oakland home.
Carretta opened the package, which exploded in his face and struck him “with force in the eyes, nose and mouth.” Glitter also became lodged in his clothing, as well as a nearby desk, files and in his carpet, according to court documents.
Another package was sent to his home around Thanksgiving, this time addressed to “Fat Midget,” according to court documents. This package contained chocolate imitation feces sold by Rain Parade.
All of these instances qualify as acts of assault, battery, intentional infliction of emotional distress, negligent infliction of emotional distress, negligence, and conspiracy, the complaint alleges.
He stole the “chocolate dick conspiracy” from QAnon.
Pene of the Week
Spanish rapper reportedly chops off roommate’s penis for gory video
A Spanish rapper is accused of hacking off his roommate’s penis with a 12-inch kitchen knife as part of a gruesome attempt to get attention on social media, according to reports.
Aaron Beltran allegedly made a deal with Andrew Breach, an Oxford-educated British teacher, to amputate his manhood — with Breach agreeing to pay a fee depending on how many times the video was shared on YouTube, the Independent reported.
The payout ranged from £173, or about $240, to a maximum of £2,164, or about $3,000, according to the report.
“On the afternoon of March 8, just before 7:15 p.m. when both men were in the victim’s bedroom, Andrew tied his pajama cord round the bottom of his penis to avoid hemorrhaging,” the indictment reads, the Sun reported.
“The accused, who was sat on a chair in front of him, cut his penis with a 12-inch kitchen knife which was never found because the accused got rid of it.”
A police officer told the court in eastern Spain that he found Breach, 35, who taught at a local language academy, bleeding heavily after the gory stunt.
“When interviewing the victim in hospital he told us the accused cut off his penis. Andrew said he did not feel 100 percent a man and wanted to get rid of his penis,” the cop told the court.
“He agreed on a deal with the accused to pay him €200 which would depend on how many views the video of the amputation received on YouTube. It was done on the basis of hits,” the cop added.
Surgeons managed to reattach the penis, which is now fully functional, according to the Independent.
Local reports around the time of the amputation said the two men drank four bottles of wine and took Valium to gather the courage to go through with it, the Sun reported.
Now that’s a violent rap video.
Chef’s Kiss of the Week
Chef kills himself after botched DIY penis enlargement that doctors ‘refused to fix’
A patient killed himself after a botched penis enlargement procedure.
Nai Saw, 42, claimed doctors had refused to fix the operation in Thailand after it went wrong.
By the time they finally called for an appointment, he had tragically taken his own life.
His body was found in the country’s Nonthaburi province on Thursday.
The Burmese migrant, a chef at a restaurant, was left devastated after his penis swelled up following an enhancement procedure last week.
His friend, Apichat Chantha said the medics would not tend to him right away.
The 30-year-old said they blamed coronavirus restrictions, which left his pal “very depressed”.
He added: “He went to enlarge his penis a week ago but it became inflamed and swelled.
“The hospital was not able to treat him due to the Covid-19 situation and he became very depressed about it.”
They later tried to call him, but it was too late.
After the patient failed to answer his phone, his concerned friend went to look for him and discovered his body.
Isn’t the point of a penis enlargement to have it swell up?
Johnson of the Week
Johnson & Johnson, in addition to playing their part inoculating the people of the US in the battle against Covid-19, also gave everyone a reason to go ROFL. The vaccine efficacy chart just looks like a giant penis and an image of that has been doing the rounds on social media.
Julia Marcus, an infectious disease epidemiologist and associate professor at Harvard posted the image on Twitter and the responses that followed were a mix of an analysis of the graph by serious folks while one bunch could just not resist making those wisecracks.
Moving on to the reactions then. “Now someone needs to start a viral rumor that it helps with erection and watch the male half of America get 100% vaccinated in no time,” read one of the tweets. A quick response to this followed: “Covid has been linked to erectile dysfunction, so indirectly, your statement is actually true!”
The one-liners weren’t far behind. “Gotta love hard data,” read a comment. Perceptions followed: “It looks like a diving board if a diving board was a gigantic cock,” one user said.
“It kinda looks like a type of coat hook, but then…so does a [eggplant emoji],” one user remarked. The double entendres just seemed to never end. “Nice to see J&J ball out, hard to deny their results. Looks like these other companies are getting the shaft,” a tweet read. “The developers of the vaccine must be swelling with pride,” said another.
In China, they are shoving those things up people’s assess.
Queen of the Week
Man exposed his genitals to another man aboard Queens train
Police are searching for a man who allegedly exposed himself to another man aboard a train in Queens last week.
A 39-year old man was on a southbound R train near the 63rd Drive subway station in Rego Park around 9:30 a.m. on Feb. 28 when another man sat down across from him and displayed his genitals, the NYPD said.
The 39-year-old man exited the train car at the station when the doors opened, police said. The suspect remained in the train car after the incident, according to police.
Police are now searching for the suspect, a man in his 20s or 30s who was last seen wearing a green jacket. The NYPD released a cell phone photo the victim took of the suspect.
What else would you expect on a Queens train?
Motorhead of the Week
Man Injected His Genitals With Motor Oil, Causing A Growth With A “Rainbow-Like Pattern”
A man in Uruguay came into a Male Genital Dermatology Unit, presenting with a large “tumorous mass” that had been growing around his penile shaft for a staggering 10 years. The patient had sexual dysfunction but had no other negative symptoms stemming from the growth. Magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans showed that the mass was limited to the dermal and hypodermal tissues, and the growth was diagnosed as a penile sclerosing granuloma after two skin biopsies.
The patient reportedly “repeatedly denied any local procedures.” However, “The patient later admitted he had self-injected motor oil and declined any kind of treatment.” Presumably, due to him turning down medical care for it, he is still living with the growth.
This case is made more unusual, however, as the authors describe the growth as having an area with an iridescent rainbow pattern, “displaying the whole spectrum of the visible light spectrum.”
There is no pot of gold at the end of this rainbow however, just his asshole.
Ding Dong of the Week
2 captured on camera showing genitals sought by El Paso deputies
El Paso County Sheriff’s investigators said Monday they were looking for two people captured on a home doorbell camera over the weekend showing their genitals.
The pair was being sought for indecent exposure following the incident Saturday night in the 4600 block of Aries Drive in northeast El Paso.
“Video surveillance from the home shows the two offenders ringing the doorbell and then exposing their genitals after no one answers the door,” the Sheriff’s Office said in a statement.
It’s “ding dong ditch” not “ding dong dick.”
Alarm of the Week
Woman jailed after exposing genitals ‘to cause alarm’ in Durham
LAURA LINDA STOBBART, who gave her address as a care facility in Chester-le-Street, was given a four week prison sentence after she exposed her genitals in Durham with intent to cause alarm and distress. The 36-year-old was ordered to pay a £128 victim surcharge.
That must have been one seriously alarming vagina.
Hotdog of the Week
Lawsuit: Williamson deputies used excessive force, let police dog bite unconscious man’s genitals
A Leander man has sued former Williamson County Sheriff Robert Chody and three deputies for using excessive force, saying he was beaten, bitten by a police dog and shot with a Taser when arrested in 2019 for a misdemeanor.
Deputies allowed a dog to bite Charles Thornburg on his genitals during the arrest while he was unconscious, the lawsuit said.
Thornburg’s arrest happened outside his Leander home on Feb. 24, 2019, the lawsuit said. It said Thornburg was asleep in his home when he heard knocking and someone identifying themselves as law enforcement telling Thornburg to come outside with his hands up.
Thornburg didn’t know at the time that deputies were responding to a misdemeanor that Thornburg was alleged to have committed, the lawsuit said. It said the alleged misdemeanor was that Thornburg has told his wife when she left the house, “Leave if you don’t want to die, too.”
Thornburg was dressed only in his pajama bottoms when he walked out his front door with his hands up while leaving his mother asleep inside, the lawsuit said.
It said deputies told him to get on the ground without saying why they were there..
As he was getting on the ground, one of the deputy’s dog started attacking him so he tried to defend himself by grabbing the canine, the lawsuit said. After he yelled “Get this dog off of me,” he was struck in the head and knocked out, according to the document. It said the bone around his eye was broken.
While Thornburg was unconscious, the dog bit his penis, his testicles, his stomach and his thighs, the lawsuit said. “There were several dog bites that required hospitalization, surgery and several months to heal,” according to the lawsuit.
It said that when Thornburg regained consciousness, he realized the dog had bitten him and deputies were in the process of removing Taser probes from his back. Thornburg also noticed on the ground that there was evidence of a beanbag shotgun used on him.
Rioting is unnecessary. He’s white.
Suspicion of the Week
Unidentified body with mutilated genitals found; police suspect brutal murder
A mangled body of a man with mutilated genitals was found and a case of murder was registered by the Pimpri-Chinchwad police on Monday
The body was found at 11am on February 28 near the Indrayani river flow in Shivnagari area of Dehugaon area of Pune.
The identity of the man could not be ascertained as it did not have any belongings or clothes on it.
“It is a forest area and there is no chance of CCTV. The face is completely mangled, and the genitals are separated in a blunt manner. It could be bitten by animals,” said assistant police inspector Prasad Gajjewar of Dehuroad police station who is investigating the case.
The cause of death by the doctors who performed autopsy on the body was found to be multiple injuries including injury over the leg, stab wound over the stomach, and cutting injury on private parts, according to the police.
Police suspect this brutally murdered man may have been brutally murdered.
Rubber of the Week
Man drops trousers in Bristol shop and rubs himself against worker
Jaromir Gowin committed ‘very odd’ offence after an argument at the store
A man has appeared in court after rubbing his genitals on the hand of a shop worker.
Jaromir Gowin, of Timber Dene in Stapleton, pleaded guilty to outraging public decency in a Bristol city centre store.
The 35-year-old appeared at Bristol Magistrates’ Court on Thursday (March 4) and admitted pulling down his trousers, exposing his genitals and twice wiping them on an employee’s hand.
Prosecutor Paul Kelly said staff had suspected Gowin of shoplifting at around 5pm on May 19 last year.
Mr Kelly told the court: “A verbal argument ensued between the shop staff and defendant.
“The defendant is described as pulling his trousers down. He was then seen to approach [a member of staff], and to rub his genitals on their left hand on two occasions.
“After this, the defendant left and was not seen further, but [the victim] remembered a distinctive white mark on the left side of the defendant’s head.”
The victim noticed this mark when Gowin returned to the shop on June 5, but the defendant left before he could be apprehended.
Gowin visited the store again on June 13. This time he was detained by staff.
And now he’s Gowin to jail.
Match Game of the Week
Nigerian Woman Beats 8-Year-Old Stepdaughter Then Burns Her Genitals Using Matches
A Nigerian woman was arrested for beating her 8-year-old stepdaughter and setting her private parts on fire using matches. The Bauchi State Police Command apprehended Aisha Abdullahi and charged her with child molestation and attempted homicide last Monday.
According to a statement by Command spokesperson Ahmed Mohammed Wakil, the incident took place on the afternoon of February 14. The child kept poking at her clothes while sleeping which provoked her stepmother to beat her with an electric wire. Abdullahi then proceeded to light matches on the child’s genitals causing her to sustain serious burn injuries…
Police rushed the child to a hospital for emergency treatment and arrested her stepmother. Authorities are currently looking further into their investigation to acquire more information and facts on the case.
Vaginal arson.
Moobs of the Week
Colombian influencer gets breast implants just for fun
COLOMBIAN influencer Yeferson Cossio, has got silicone breast implants for fun after a bet.
The 26-year-old from Medellin, who has 3.4 million followers on Instagram, bet his brother-in-law, Jhoan Lopez, that he would reach three million fans on the social network and, if he did not succeed, he would get the implants
“Can you imagine getting old and saying that once I lost a bet and got huge boobs?” he said.
He won the challenge in less than a month, but decided to also decided to take the penalty along with his brother-in-law.
“I’m not worried, I already talked to the doctors and they explained that it will not damage my pectoral muscles” he said. “I will leave the implants in for three days and then I take them off, the scar will be small and under a tattoo, so it wouldn’t be noticeable at all” he explained before knowing that he had won.
Just under a month after announcing the challenge, he announced that he had undergone the operation and would show the results. He did so with a fairly explicit video of the operation.
He later published another post showing his new breasts, saying he had done it for fun and would take them out in a week.
While he recorded the reactions of his relatives, his girlfriend jokingly said “it’s not normal for your husband and your brother to get boobs.”
After he was criticised for his decision, he expressed his respect for women who have to undergo breast operations, which he said was the “most painful thing I have ever done in my life.”
He also apologised to the “thousands of transsexuals who save their whole lives for boobs and don’t have enough and then a son of a b**ch like me comes along and gets them.” He added “I apologise for having money.”
Apology accepted.
Assholes of the Week
11 Reasons Why Blood May Appear When You Fart, and When to Be Concerned
Racing with the sun: ANUs Solar Racing Team prepares for a new year
Chilling Account Of How A Gay Police Officer In Ghana Had Dildo Stuck In His Anus
That’s Ghana leave a mark.
Holster of the Week
A Missouri woman has been slapped with a felony weapons charge after she allegedly smuggled a small gun into prison by concealing it in her vagina.
Amy Natasha Wilhite, 39, was originally taken into custody at the Boone County Jail on February 14 on drugs charges.
Wilhite underwent both a ‘thorough’ pat search and a strip search at the jail, but officials did not find the miniature gun in her possession.
However, on Wednesday, prison officers were left stunned when they found the pint-sized weapon in her jail cell.
The gun has been identified as a North American Arms .22 caliber revolver.
It is four inches long, 2.38 inches tall and .88 inches wide, according to KOMU 8.
Officials believe Wilhite hid the gun in a body cavity at the time of her arrest before she later removed it in the privacy of her prison cell.
The Smoking Gun reports that the weapon was concealed in her vagina.
Is that a gun in your vagina or are you just happy to see me?
Smear Campaign of the Week
SC man accused of smearing feces, urine on walls of friends’ home
Investigators say a man caused $30,000 worth of damage to a home where he was staying as a guest in Orangeburg County, South Carolina.
WIS reports that 21-year-old Kristion Keller was charged with malicious injury to personal property in excess of $10,000 after a bizarre incident.
According to investigators, the victim told deputies that, originally, Keller and his wife, both friends of the victim’s partner, were supposed to stay for a short while before moving on. However, the Kellers eventually put up sheets of plastic in the home to divide the space between the victim and the victim’s boyfriend.
Eventually, the victims said they couldn’t handle the situation and left their home and filed for an eviction in court.
“The victims left the residence staying with a relative until their court date,” OCSO officials said. “Meantime, they were contacted multiple times by the Kellers who were stating that repairs were needed on the home.”
The sheriff’s office said the victim received threats of legal action if she did not have repairs made.
The victims later learned that the Kellers had abandoned the home prior to the court date and they returned. What they found was not only damaging, but disgusting, the victims said.
According to a report, the victims found holes in the walls, water on the floors, and urine and human feces found smeared on the floors, walls and ceilings.
The victims said the vanity and drawers where in the shower and bath tub in sitting water, and the kitchen appliances were all damaged. The wires in the AC unit were torn from the wall and food was put inside the unit as well as in the wall.
The victims also said that the beds were soiled with different liquids.
And you think you’ve had shitty house guests?
Mugs of the Week
Woman Arrested For Anti-Asian Attacks In Mountain View
Ratowski charged third time with child sex offense
Woman arrested after officers find 15 syringes, meth & knife in purse
Burn her, she’s a witch!
Organ Donor of the Week
‘April’s Law’ would make ‘sexual abuse of a corpse’ a crime in Tennessee following a Memphis case
A Memphis lawmaker is pushing a bill that would make sexual abuse of a corpse a felony.
In 2018, Cameron Wright, a former St. Francis Hospital security guard was found on top of 37-year-old April Parham. She died of cardiac arrest.
Parham was in the morgue waiting for her organs to be donated. It was her last wish.
Her parents appeared on Capitol Hill saying not only should sexual abuse of a corpse be a felony, those who do it should be registered sex offenders.
“I heard it on the news that somebody at the hospital has been raped after they died,” James Parham said in front of the House Criminal Justice committee. “Said to myself—this guy must be crazy not knowing who the victim was.”
The victim was their daughter, April.
The day replays in James and Shelia Parham’s heads constantly.
“When the examiner was coming to get her eyes, her skin and bones, they found a security guard up on top of her,” April’s mother Shelia Parham said. “Having sex with her, I wouldn’t stay it was embarrassing, it was just awful.”
Wright pleaded guilty to the charge of abuse of a corpse.
A new bill titled “April’s Law” will make what Wright did a Class E felony and a requirement to register as a sex offender.
“Every time we catch one of these guys, we’re not catching them the first time, so it’s no telling how many times he’s already gotten away with it,” said Memphis Representative G.A. Hardaway.
There’s not a law currently that makes sexual abuse of remains a criminal charge.
That’s not what “having a stiff one” means or “donating an organ” for that matter.
WTF? of the Week
Florida man with STD accused of raping 76-year-old nursing home resident
A Florida man with a sexually transmitted disease was caught raping a “physically helpless” 76-year-old woman at a Pinellas County nursing home, authorities said Friday.
A staff member at Noble Senior Living in St. Petersburg told investigators that Isaiah Banks, 59, was found “having sexual intercourse” with a fellow resident at the facility “without her consent” Thursday, the Pinellas County Sheriff’s Office said.
The suspect apparently gained access to the victim’s room by unlocking a secured door between their floors.
Banks was arrested without incident and admitted to the allegations during an interview with detectives, according to a news release. He was charged with one count of sexual battery on a physically helpless victim and one count of unlawful act of a sexually transmissible disease.
The woman was sustained minor injuries and was treated at the scene. No other details about the incident or the victim’s condition will be released to protect her privacy, authorities said.
Authorities did not say what kind of STD the suspect has.
It’s still not as bad as what NY Gov. Andrew Cuomo did to people in nursing homes. Or to his staff members.
